What Are Values?
What Are Values?
Values are the deeply held beliefs and guiding principles that shape how we live, what we strive for, and the choices we make every day. They serve as an inner compass—quietly influencing how we view ourselves, others, and the world around us. Values often come from a blend of our upbringing, culture, life experiences, spirituality, and personal reflections. They are not always obvious on the surface, but they are woven into nearly every decision and action we take.
How Values Influence Our Lives
Values touch every part of life, even when we don’t consciously realize it:
Decision-Making: Whether choosing a career path, a partner, or how to spend our free time, our values often steer us toward what feels “right” or “worthwhile.”
Priorities: They help us decide what deserves our time and energy. For example, someone who values family highly may sacrifice career opportunities to stay closer to loved ones.
Relationships: Shared or conflicting values can either strengthen bonds or create tension. When people understand and respect each other’s values, it creates trust and connection.
Sense of Purpose: Living in alignment with our values often brings meaning, satisfaction, and a sense of peace. When life feels empty or directionless, it may be because we’ve lost touch with what truly matters to us.
When Values Can Cause Harm
Even though values guide us, they can also create challenges:
Conflict: When our values clash with those of others, it can lead to misunderstanding, arguments, or fractured relationships.
Rigidity: Holding too tightly to one value at the expense of others can lead to imbalance. For instance, valuing success without balance may cause burnout or strained family ties.
Inherited Values: Sometimes we live by values handed down by family or culture that no longer fit who we are today. This can create guilt, shame, or a sense of living someone else’s life instead of our own.
Self-Criticism: If we feel we are not living up to our values, we may judge ourselves harshly. Instead of being a source of guidance, values can become a source of pressure or self-doubt.
The Importance of Reflecting on Values
Taking time to reflect on and name our values is one of the most powerful ways to gain clarity and direction in life. By identifying what truly matters, we can:
Make choices that feel authentic and reduce regret.
Create stronger, healthier relationships built on mutual respect.
Develop resilience during hard times by staying connected to our “why.”
Find balance by noticing when we’ve overemphasized one value and neglected others.
A Supportive Perspective
It’s important to remember that values are not about being perfect—they are about being intentional. They are less about rules and more about direction. Life is not about flawlessly living by our values every moment; it’s about gradually aligning with them more fully as we grow.
When we give ourselves permission to explore our values with curiosity rather than judgment, we open doors to growth, healing, and deeper fulfillment. Our values can change as we evolve, and that’s not failure—it’s part of being human.
A Gentle Invitation
Take a moment to reflect: What matters most to you right now? Is it connection, honesty, security, growth, creativity, or something else entirely? Notice how those values show up in your daily life—and where you might want to invite them in more fully.
By reconnecting with our values, we give ourselves the chance to live more authentically, strengthen our relationships, and create a life that feels not just busy—but truly meaningful.
Questions to Explore your Values
§ What moments in your life have felt the most meaningful or fulfilling? What values were present in those moments?
§ If you had to choose three words that represent the kind of person you want to be, what would they be?
§ How do your daily routines reflect what you care about most? Where might they not?
§ Which areas of your life feel most aligned with your values right now? Which areas feel out of step?
§ Have you ever felt pulled between two important values? How did you handle that tension?
§ What values matter most in your closest relationships?
§ What does “living authentically” mean to you? How would your life look if you embodied your values more fully?
Values are not just words on paper; they are living reminders of who we are, who we want to be, and how we wish to walk through this world.
As you reflect on your own values, I encourage you to approach yourself with patience and compassion. Values are not about being perfect; they are about guiding us toward a life that feels meaningful and true. Every small step you take in aligning your actions with what matters most is a powerful step toward growth and authenticity. Remember, your values are the roots that help you stand firm, the compass that helps you find your way, and the light that can carry you through even the hardest seasons. May you continue to discover and honor the values that bring you peace, strength, and hope.
Wishing you all the best,
Ashley
